Aries: After moonlighting as an event calendar for a
day, the horoscopes are back to extolling the virtues
of laziness and sloth. Hooray!
Taurus: What's lazier than skipping class to spend the
afternoon lying in a hammock? Skipping two classes to
do it.
Gemini: Note: the horoscopes do not condone skipping
class; however, the use of hammocks is to be
encouraged at all costs.
Cancer: You find laziness to be a productive outlet
for your creativity. This is a very good sign.
Leo: Thomas Aquinas says: Sloth is "sluggishness of
the mind which neglects to begin good... [it] is evil
in its effect, if it so oppresses man as to draw him
away entirely from good deeds."
Virgo: Are you going to listen to Thomas Aquinas, or
are you going to listen to Gorgeous Dre? Only one of
us is a saint, but only one of us is dead.
Libra: The three-toed sloth (Bradypus variegatus) is a
remarkably slow moving, nocturnal and diurnal
mammal--much like many college students.
Scorpio: You like to say "sloth." Sloth sloth sloth
sloth sloth sloth!
Sagittarius: You aren't down with the whole torpor
thing. Go be a busybody somewhere.
Capricorn: Sloth is linked with the goat, and the
color light blue. Do you care? Maybe you should.
Aquarius: You had a great time in Vegas playing
blackjack, craps, and sloth machines. (ouch!)
Pisces: All play and no work makes Pisces...well, have
a lot more fun than if you were doing work.
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Martin Brown